It is only since starting T that I’ve had any desire to go for a run. I’ve met people who talk about running as stress relief and their remarks have, until recently, baffled me. Normally, I get winded very quickly and do not have enough stamina to run any distance, but I’ve been so wound up as of late that it felt like running was the only way through my feelings. I used a running leash for my dog and we took off!
My dog is a Yorkie, so he is not built for endurance. He got worn out before I did which let me feel like I was “winning” our race (he would definitely best me in a sprint, however!). I slowed down for him and enjoyed the feeling of my legs in flight. I did still have a bit of discomfort in my upper chest where my lungs and/or blood vessels constricted, but it wasn’t as bad as it used to be. Given that there is still snow on the ground and it is below freezing, I feel that my pup and I have lots of nice runs ahead of us in the coming months.
What’s your favorite stress relief when you are angry and/or feel that you have excessive energy to burn? If you run, what season and location do you prefer? Do you run with your pet?
For today’s post, I decided to consider the qualities of a relationship that enable a sense of my full humanity as well as allow me to acknowledge the full humanity of the person or people to whom I am relating. I will be continuing this post in the next few days in order to answer the reflection questions I included. I hope you’ll share your thoughts in the comments!
If your full humanity is being recognized in a relationship, you will be:
- considered as a whole person, not as a representative of one aspect of your identity
- expected to own your mistakes and to make concrete steps to improve
- welcomed as you are
- able to set appropriate boundaries, saying yes and no according to your preferences
- only responsible for managing your own emotions, thoughts and behaviors
- able to make your own decisions
- allowed to consider the compatibility of each person’s needs, desires and wishes
- taken seriously when you share that something offended you
- offered love, affection and trust without having to earn them
- apologized to when someone’s actions harm you
- allowed to express your needs, desires and wishes without being shamed or mocked
- given space if you ask for it
- present with each part of yourself
- encouraged to adapt and grow at your own pace
- built up, cheered for, and supported
Which of these characteristics speaks most to you? Are there any that feel uncomfortable, or for which you know you have caveats? Are there any that you value but find challenging to offer to another? What might you add to the list?
Today’s Daily Remembrance card inquired as to a positive effect growing older has had on me. I find it difficult to accept the challenges with which my life has presented me, but I hold the process of aging itself as an opportunity alongside its inherent stressors. What I enjoy most about it is the expansion of my perspective that it offers.
I find the shift in my viewpoint as I’ve entered middle-age to be akin to watching an animated film as an adult and realizing how much sarcasm and debauchery went over my head when I was younger. Certain topics recycle themselves through my timeline, and I come to them anew as a different version of myself each time. In particular, I think I get better at empathy, holding multiple perspectives and the societal contextualization of experience when I’m allowed another encounter.
What I would like to be able to offer to myself as I continue to age is a freedom from the mentality that I can somehow transcend my flaws and mistakes. I get stuck in a cycle of believing that, if I could only control my inner experience fully, I would never feel any negative emotions and would therefore always act from a place of inner wisdom. I want to move from “I am an unkind person” to “I did something unkind,” replacing my desire to categorize myself with a more hopeful belief that, with careful attention and a slowing of action, I can make choices that are reflective of the core of who I am. What nuances has aging brought to your perspective on life? What positive influences has it had on you thus far?