Today I am grateful for a feeling of empowerment I’m accessing as I better organizing my personal affairs. I would likely come across to most people as the type of person whose file drawer is enviable, but the reality of my schema for categorizing documents and the like is that I store most of what I need to function as an adult in my head and/or computer, so there is little evidence of how I manage bills and such that physically exists in my life. I have a plastic bin into which I’ve placed most of my important documents, but it could easily take someone hours to sort through it to find the one they might need.
The realities of the potential for a healthcare crisis (among other threats) in my country has pushed me into the realization that, were I incapacitated, it would be difficult for someone to step into my life and manage things for me. Lacking a spouse and family puts in me in a much more precarious situation than most people, one that has left me inert with anxiety ever time I’ve tried to cross this threshold of preparedness. Now, though, the threat is more real than it’s ever been to me and I feel compelled to take action. I am compiling a binder with all the relevant information necessary. It should serve not only the emergency for which I am designing it, but will also be something I can grab and go if there is a natural disaster.
I am also planning to meet with an “elder law” attorney this summer, even though I am decades off from being considered elderly. I need to know my options for designating someone to manage my healthcare as well as the welfare of my dog, should anything happen to me. What I find bizarre about the whole situation is that I’ve been suicidal more times than I can count in the past, sometimes seriously, but taking these steps of actual preparation feels very daunting and challenging. I suppose I’m not afraid of being dead but I am extremely scared of losing my autonomy and having to rely on others to ensure my safety, so much so that even planning for it feels risky. I’m grateful, though, for the privilege of being able to make choices now for myself as I find the courage to face my fears and am taking concrete steps forward. What is something you’ve been putting off that you’ve begun to address?
I’ve added to my personally-created deck collection, and, subsequently, to the categories I will be incorporating on my blog. I’ve gone through nearly all of my “Simple Pleasures” deck and, although I will be reusing the cards, I also wanted to springboard off of what I found most beneficial in that deck to create new ones.
I’ve made an overview category of Writing Everyday, which will include:
- Daily Presence
- Daily Remembrances
- Daily Works of Art
- In the Cards and of course
- Simple Pleasures.
The Daily Presence cards focus on a particular body part. I will use them to get in touch with how my body is moving through the world, and what it needs on any given day to be loved and safe. Daily Remembrances cards are writing prompts designed to help me contemplate past experiences through the lens of acceptance and growth (I am also working on making writing prompt cards for the present moment and for the future). Each Daily Works of Art card focuses on creating a representation of a particular concept through whichever medium I believe will fit best. In the Cards will involve a tarot, oracle or intuitive deck draw and interpretation. This will on occasion include my In an Open Hand Intuitive Deck that I am in the process of creating. The Simple Pleasure cards are what I’ve been using for the past two months to engage in an action which brings joy and hope to my everyday life.
The remaining categories on my blog, such as Creativity, Experiences of Identity and so forth, will be reserved from this point forward for longer essays that focus on specific ideas and experiences. I had to take a break for about a year from writing longer pieces (I’ve written other blogs previously) as my internal world was shifting and I wasn’t sure how best to articulate myself. I think that I’m settling into a place where there may be more that I have to share in a deeper context.
I include an open-ended question or two at the end of almost all of my writings. As a reader of my blog, I hope that you will sharing your thoughts in the comments on occasion and, if you are having a rough day where you need a bright spot of hope or simply a break from what’s going on, I hope what I have to share will afford you that experience. I started Simple Pleasures because I was in a deep depression and needed something to connect with on a daily basis. I expect that expanding into the decks/topics that I’ve chosen will bring new insights and experiences. What are daily practices that bring you peace, acceptance and/or hope?